Jay-Z just....

....released a beautfil song about his newborn daughter.

Way to make the rest of us no parents look lame and mediocre, buddy.

Here's the link if you want to hear it:

http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/hear-jay-zs-emotional-new-song-about-baby---featuring-blue-ivy-herself-201291

I texted my friend Jenn to tell her she should listen to it because.

Jenn: He sounds so soft, eh? He totally got me. Did it make you cry?
Me: No. because I don't have a heart. But it was still really sweet and made me jealous that some people are so talented. And mad that JR didn't compose a song when our daughter was born. He really dropped the ball on that one.

Sometimes it takes....

a full 24 hours for buyer's remorse to set in. I bought a yesterday. A shirt which I am now wearing. And god willing, I will be able to find the tags somewhere in the depths of my garbage can at home so I can return this hot mess of a shirt tonight.

I am so sick of.....

....Jessica Simpson striking this contrived pose.



Yeah, we get it. You're pregnant. Please stop cradling your belly like that.



Nobody stands that way. I know you are trying to act all casual, like you don't even notice what you are doing....FAIL.



Why can't she take a page of out Beyonce's pregnancy book and secretly give birth after only 7 days of being pregnant?