I pride myself.....

.....on keeping a relatively clean house. I mean, it's not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. But I take satisfaction in knowing that while I have 4 dogs, people tell me how tidy and nice smelling my house is (thank you Febreeze Noticeables).

Anyways, that's not to say that there aren't some little house cleaning jobs I might have missed for say, the last....oh, I don't know......4 years or so.

Like cleaning the ceiling fans for instance....which I unwittingly turned on "High" last night for the first time in a long time.





Martha Stewart, I'm not.

Go ahead....

....and watch it if you want, but Ben Stiller's "Greenberg" was terrible.

The following email exchange just took place between my brother & I.

Me: P.S. Do NOT rent the movie Greenberg starring Ben Stiller. It is the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. Ever.

Ty: Regrettably, I started to watch Greenberg. Christina made us turn it off like 10minutes into it though. Talk to you soon. Ty

Me: Something instinctively told me that you guys were going to watch it and I felt compelled to warn you. Christina made a wise decision. Literally, nothing happens between the time you turned it off and 104 minutes later when the credits roll. Literally....nothing. I was so mad at the end. I can't even believe that movie was made.



I recall saying half way through the film that I hoped Ben Stiller's character decides to off himself because it would mean the movie was done.
So consider yourself warned.

Anyways, to each his own I suppose. I am not a film critic.

These people are however:

-Good luck with yourself, Greenberg. But I think I want to break up.
-The characters are so socially destructive that it’s difficult to care what happens to any of them.
-Roger Greenberg is not the kind of guy you want to wind up next to at a dinner party.
-You may well identify with Roger's relentless irritation. But you probably won't like it.
-I only kind of like it, and I'll probably never want to see it again, but I respect it on some level.

And my favourite review so far:

-Detest may not be a strong enough word to express what surely ranks as the worst movie of 2010. If you choose to ignore this warning, you may want to jump off a cliff after seeing this debacle for yourself.

In one week.....

....I will no longer have to see this sitting in my laneway every time I return from work.



This is the boy's demo car. The Demolition Derby is this Saturday. Which means for the first time in a month my laneway will be free of randomly strewn car parts, random men drinking beer and smelling like gasoline and this green monstrosity.

It's a good thing I love him.

The one time....

...I opt not to run and grab my camera and I'm totally regretting it.

On Sunday night the boy fell asleep on the couch in the back room. When I was ready for bed, I went to see if he was just going to stay put.

I turned the light on and immediately gasped.

I don't know how to properly explain what I encountered in that room.....but let me use a few mathematical equations and see if you can put it together.

It'll be fun.

2 Gravol + 1 backpain tablet = a powerful sleep inducing cocktail if I ever saw one

No air conditioning + the boy falling asleep with a pile of chocolates on his chest = bag ful of melted chocolate all over his face, neck, shirt, hands, glasses and couch

One terrible and mean spirited person (me) + a groggy person's misfortune = me laughing so hard I could barely go get a cloth to help him clean up and opting to go to bed instead.

A harsh reminder.....

....that I should never brag about anything:

Five minutes after my earlier posting gushing about how excited I was to be down a jean size....a co-worker walked past, reached out, and tore the size sticker off the ass end of my jeans.



That's not really me in the picture. I was too mortified to take a photo. I promotly threw the tag in the garbage and went back to my desk to cry.

I had the pleasure...

...of spending all day Saturday on a boat. In the sunshine, docked near White Cloud Island. Not just any boat. This boat.



It was very fast. So fast that you are required to wear goggles.



You thought I was exaggerating, didn't you? No, it wasn't just a fashion statement my friends.



I won't tell you how long it took the get the knots out of my hair. (Ok, it took a long time. I may not even be finished yet.)



There's nothing wrong with befriending people hwo own boats. I promise.

God bless....

....the jean makers of Walmart. They either know how to boost a girl's self esteem or I might have FINALLY lost a jean size. I say "finally" because I quit drinking pop (almost entirely) about a month ago. I used to have a can of Pepsi ever day. At least one can. Now, I can still have one once in a while, but I don't buy it to keep in the house. I've started drinking about 6 bottles of water a day. And I have been a little more careful about what I eat. (I'm sorry Nachos. I still love you. We just can't hang out every day like we used to.)

I also quit smoking too. Which, in an unexpected turn, has made drinking a lot less enjoyable. Who knew? So I've been cutting back on the beer & red wine too. I know...it's like I don't even know myself anymore. Don't worry Wine. I'm never goin gto quit you entirely. We've been through too much together.)

All that to say, my efforts were rewarded last night when I tried on a pair of jeans, fully expecting them to be a size too small, but insisting on trying to squeeze into them anyways....only to discover they actually fit!

That is the first time this has happened in years. (I was going to omit the fact that the only reason I was jean shopping in the first place was because I had worn out my former favourite pair of jeans from excessive friction in the thigh area....any girls who wear more than a size 6, you know what I'm talking about.) But I'm nothing if not honest.