I walked to work again today.....

...and it still made me want to die.

Halfway through my journey though, I saw a familiar face.

Let's call him "Elmer". Elmer is a very nice guy. Here's the thing though - Elmer is a little slow. Not the brightest kid on the block. But, again, very nice. Anyways, I called to Elmer from across the street and told him to join me for the rest of my walk downtown.

Did I mention Elmer is also brutally honest?

Elmer: "You've been walking a lot lately."
Me: "Yeah, and I hate it."
Elmer: "Well, if you keep walking maybe you can lose some weight."
Me: (pretending to be aghast) "Elmer!! Are you implying I need to lose weight?!"

Elmer cackles loudly, as if that were the funniest line he's ever heard. But other than that, he doesn't actually respond.

After a brief reprimand regarding his ridiculously fast pace, he realized he would have to slow down significantly if I were to keep up. Then later, as we are approaching the main street....

Me: "Hey, Elmer, we could walk to work together like this every day!"
Elmer: "Maybe."
Me: "People will start to gossip....think about the rumours!"
Elmer: "Rumours!!!" *nervous laughter*

Then Elmer got quiet. I think I had made him uncomfortable.

As we neared the corner Elmer told me we'd have to part ways.

Me: "But, you're going for coffee? Right? I see you there every day. I'm going there too."
Elmer: "I go this way. You go straight."

Me: "Oh. Well, have a nice day Elmer. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow."

I get the distinct impression I was just slowing Elmer down.

Sigh.