Monday, September 27, 2010

Wait, whoa....what??

I noticed this sign at a mall in Barrie yesterday.

It appears the quilting industry is now marketting to previously untapped demographics.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I was pleasantly....

....surprised to come home the other day, only to discover that the boy had added a few finishing touches to the autumn explosion that has become my porch. Pumpkins, gourds, hay bales etc.

The boy: "Hey, you didn't comment on the corn flakes."
Me: "The what?"
The boy: "The corn flakes. I tied them to the front porch pillars like you said you were going to do."
Me: "Those are called corn stalks, not corn flakes."
The boy: "Oh, whatever, Ms. Smart Encyclopedia Lady."

Friday, September 17, 2010

I don't know....

...what it is about the fall. But I've been going into demoestic mode. Or nesting mode. Or whatever mode it is people go into when the weather gets cold and they prepare to bunker down for a long winter.

I decorated my front porch for autumn. These seasonal elements will stay in place until probably 6 weeks from now, when I tear everything down and go into insane Christmas Lady Mode. And yes, I realize Christmas is still 14 weeks away. (I just went through an online photo album from last year. And the pictures of us cutting down out Christmas tree were taken on November 23rd just to give you an idea of the scope of my issues.)

Check out my porch!

And the boy was kind enough to buy me some corn stalks from a roadside stand that I can attach to the pillars on the porch. I know, no one is as excited about this as I am!

Oh, and the baking! I have done more baking in the past 2 weeks than I usually do in two years. I baked the boy some peanut butter cookies last week.

That same night I tried out a new recipe for Pecan Pie Muffins.

Yes, that is a liberal sprinkling of brown sugar on each muffin top. Alas, these were dissapointingly dry. I should have followed my usual go-to baking rule...when in doubt, add more butter.

Last night, I made a cabbage role casserole, which was amazing.

And finally, since I was on such a roll, I whipped up a loaf of banana bread for dessert. ( Of course, it would have looked way more appealing if I'd waited until after it was nicely baked before taking the photo.)

So remember that posting about a week back where I shared my excitement over having discovered I'd lost a jean size? Well, maybe losing weight is overrated.

Some lovely homegrown....

...tomatoes were brough tinto the station by a co-worker recently. Now, I hate raw tomatoes, but I brought some home for the boy.

Everyone at work seemed shocked that I refuse to eat tomatoes. Especially being that I like things such as brushetta, tomato juice and spaghetti sauce.

One Halloween, when I was about 6 and my brother maybe 4, we were forced by our parents to each eat a slice of raw tomato before we were allowed to go out trick or treating. My brother and I both sat at the kitchen table, in costume, sobbing and gagging and trying to force the tiny piece down our throats. It was not a Happy Halloween. But we did eventually get through it after much dry-heaving and tearful theatrics.

The happy ending is that later we went door to door and looked adorable, and from the photos taken later than evening I can tell we forgot all about the ugly tomato-dinnertime incident. But to this day neither of us will eat raw tomoatoes.

I watched....

....The Passion of the Christ last night for the first time. I don't get what all the controversy was about.

Granted, I am not religious whatsoever, so I would not be the best person to be able to spot all the inaccuracies that incited so much anger when the movie came out. In fact, 4 years of Catholic school religion classes are all nothing but vague memories at this point. Not unlike everything I learned after Grade 2 math. And even that would be stretching it. The math has pretty much left the building as far as my brain is concerned.

Anywho.....I didn't mind the movie. But I kept trying to figure out what all the fuss was about. Again, I should emphasize I am not up to snuff on my Jesus trivia, so please forgive my ignorance.

It also didn't help that the following questions were posed back and forth between the boy and I during the course of the film:

-Is that Judas? I thought they showed Judas being arrested.
-Ceasar was alive at the same time as Jesus? I had no idea.
-Is that guy Judas?
-Wait, is Mary his mother or the prostitute?
-What language is this?
-Didn't you go to Catholic school? And you don't know this?
-Why do so many of the characters have long hair and beards? I can't keep track of Judas!
-Is this taking place in Rome? It sure looks like Rome.

I did something today I never in a million years thought I would do. I Googled "Passion"+"Christ"+controversy. Hey, it's a quiet Friday afternoon. I won't judge your Google history and you don't judge mine, okay?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I just got....

....really excited upon discovering some loose change in my pants pocket.

Look, payday is tomorrow.

Don't judge me, okay?

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The boy's....

....horoscope in yesterday's paper read, "If you have been looking for permission to go ahead and have a night out on the town with friends, permission granted. You deserve it!"

Screw you Horoscope. I make the decisions around here. And unless you are going to clean out the garage and help me walk the dogs then I suggest you keep mind your own business.

My friend...

...Amanda came to visit this weekend. She just recently moved from Vancouver to Toronto. And decided to spend a weekend here in the OS to catch a bit o fthe salmon derby.

Here is one reason I love Amanda.

Let me explain.

Amanda scooped this poster for me about 3 years ago while still living on the West Coast. She has hung onto it since then and recently ensured it's safe transportation in a cross-country move. On Saturday, she proceeded to trek it through downtown Toronto at 6 a.m. on her walk to the bus stop, for the 4-hour journey to the Sound.

Now, I'm sure she got some strange looks from her co-passengers on the bus. And, that is saying a lot. Anyone who's ever travelled by bus knows what I mean. No offense to frequent bus travellers.

Anyways, thanks Amanda. You made me very happy. You made the boy very uncomfortable. And you made Dwight finally feel like he's part of the family. (For now anyways. The boy is giong to make me move Dwight out of the dining room very soon. I don't like the way he looks at him.)

I pride myself.....

.....on keeping a relatively clean house. I mean, it's not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. But I take satisfaction in knowing that while I have 4 dogs, people tell me how tidy and nice smelling my house is (thank you Febreeze Noticeables).

Anyways, that's not to say that there aren't some little house cleaning jobs I might have missed for say, the last....oh, I don't know......4 years or so.

Like cleaning the ceiling fans for instance....which I unwittingly turned on "High" last night for the first time in a long time.

Martha Stewart, I'm not.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Go ahead....

....and watch it if you want, but Ben Stiller's "Greenberg" was terrible.

The following email exchange just took place between my brother & I.

Me: P.S. Do NOT rent the movie Greenberg starring Ben Stiller. It is the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. Ever.

Ty: Regrettably, I started to watch Greenberg. Christina made us turn it off like 10minutes into it though. Talk to you soon. Ty

Me: Something instinctively told me that you guys were going to watch it and I felt compelled to warn you. Christina made a wise decision. Literally, nothing happens between the time you turned it off and 104 minutes later when the credits roll. Literally....nothing. I was so mad at the end. I can't even believe that movie was made.

I recall saying half way through the film that I hoped Ben Stiller's character decides to off himself because it would mean the movie was done.
So consider yourself warned.

Anyways, to each his own I suppose. I am not a film critic.

These people are however:

-Good luck with yourself, Greenberg. But I think I want to break up.
-The characters are so socially destructive that it’s difficult to care what happens to any of them.
-Roger Greenberg is not the kind of guy you want to wind up next to at a dinner party.
-You may well identify with Roger's relentless irritation. But you probably won't like it.
-I only kind of like it, and I'll probably never want to see it again, but I respect it on some level.

And my favourite review so far:

-Detest may not be a strong enough word to express what surely ranks as the worst movie of 2010. If you choose to ignore this warning, you may want to jump off a cliff after seeing this debacle for yourself.

In one week.....

....I will no longer have to see this sitting in my laneway every time I return from work.

This is the boy's demo car. The Demolition Derby is this Saturday. Which means for the first time in a month my laneway will be free of randomly strewn car parts, random men drinking beer and smelling like gasoline and this green monstrosity.

It's a good thing I love him.

The one time....

...I opt not to run and grab my camera and I'm totally regretting it.

On Sunday night the boy fell asleep on the couch in the back room. When I was ready for bed, I went to see if he was just going to stay put.

I turned the light on and immediately gasped.

I don't know how to properly explain what I encountered in that room.....but let me use a few mathematical equations and see if you can put it together.

It'll be fun.

2 Gravol + 1 backpain tablet = a powerful sleep inducing cocktail if I ever saw one

No air conditioning + the boy falling asleep with a pile of chocolates on his chest = bag ful of melted chocolate all over his face, neck, shirt, hands, glasses and couch

One terrible and mean spirited person (me) + a groggy person's misfortune = me laughing so hard I could barely go get a cloth to help him clean up and opting to go to bed instead.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

A harsh reminder.....

....that I should never brag about anything:

Five minutes after my earlier posting gushing about how excited I was to be down a jean size....a co-worker walked past, reached out, and tore the size sticker off the ass end of my jeans.

That's not really me in the picture. I was too mortified to take a photo. I promotly threw the tag in the garbage and went back to my desk to cry.

I had the pleasure...

...of spending all day Saturday on a boat. In the sunshine, docked near White Cloud Island. Not just any boat. This boat.

It was very fast. So fast that you are required to wear goggles.

You thought I was exaggerating, didn't you? No, it wasn't just a fashion statement my friends.

I won't tell you how long it took the get the knots out of my hair. (Ok, it took a long time. I may not even be finished yet.)

There's nothing wrong with befriending people hwo own boats. I promise.

God bless....

....the jean makers of Walmart. They either know how to boost a girl's self esteem or I might have FINALLY lost a jean size. I say "finally" because I quit drinking pop (almost entirely) about a month ago. I used to have a can of Pepsi ever day. At least one can. Now, I can still have one once in a while, but I don't buy it to keep in the house. I've started drinking about 6 bottles of water a day. And I have been a little more careful about what I eat. (I'm sorry Nachos. I still love you. We just can't hang out every day like we used to.)

I also quit smoking too. Which, in an unexpected turn, has made drinking a lot less enjoyable. Who knew? So I've been cutting back on the beer & red wine too. I's like I don't even know myself anymore. Don't worry Wine. I'm never goin gto quit you entirely. We've been through too much together.)

All that to say, my efforts were rewarded last night when I tried on a pair of jeans, fully expecting them to be a size too small, but insisting on trying to squeeze into them anyways....only to discover they actually fit!

That is the first time this has happened in years. (I was going to omit the fact that the only reason I was jean shopping in the first place was because I had worn out my former favourite pair of jeans from excessive friction in the thigh area....any girls who wear more than a size 6, you know what I'm talking about.) But I'm nothing if not honest.