Friday, January 29, 2010

I need to start....

....being more conscious of what shirt I wear to work on Fridays. You see, on friday morning's we do the Mix Morning zoo and I have my photo taken with whiever animal we are featuring that week. And I just realized that I always seem to be wearing this stupid grey sweater on Fridays. Here I am today:

And here I am last week:

And the week before:

And the week before that:

It's kind of like I just give up on life come Friday. I'm one very small step away from showing up to work in sweatpants. Grey ones. With the elastic ankle bands.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The boy....

.....signed up for Red Bull Crashed Ice. Think downhill skiing on skates. And full body contact.

He signs up every year hoping to be accepted. The only glitch is that this year...he was.

He is supposed to be in London next Thursday for qualifying.

And I will be preparing to spend the begin my life as a 28-year-old widow.

I am leading....

...the NFL playoff pool at the bar right now. So all I have to do is correctly choose the winning team (and take into account the point spread) and I win a little chunk of money. I asked our Sports Director Fred which team would be his pick and I think he solidified it for me. We talked a bit of strategy but essentially I think I have my mind made up.

Me: "Thanks for your help. There's a coffee in it for you if I win."
Him: "Make it a chocolate milk."
Me: "Done."
Him: "There us a beer in it for you if you lose."

Beer is for sissies. Chocolate milk is where it's at.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The boy....

...tried to convince me this weekend that I have an unhealthy mother-daughter relationship.....with one of my dogs.

He says I spend too much time with her. And that I shouldn't talk to her so much. And that I should be able to go more than 30 seconds with swooping her into my arms and cuddling her. And that he is worried I might be starting to blur the line between dog and actual human child. I have no idea where he gets these crazy notions.

See? There we are on a little shopping trip this past weekend. Two of my favourite girls. A 2-legged one and a 4-legged one.

The boy also mentioned that if I spent half as much time snuggling him as I do the dog.....well, you get the picture.

I broke down....

...and started drinking Pepsi again. Over the weekend. I was very tense. And snarky. And tired. And I did it. I got feeling sorry for myself and convinced myself that the only thing that could lift my spirits was a big fat dose of cola flavoured caffeine. In fact, I'm drinking a can of Pepsi right now. I remembered that my boss set one on my desk a few weeks ago, after I told him I had given it up cold turkey. I think he wanted to see if I could sweat it out. Anyways, I didn't drink it right then, but I tucked it away in the far corner drawer of my desk, in case of emergency. And while today certainly does not constitute an emergency, I was happy to see it still sitting there when I needed it.

I also just got wind that my House & Home Magazine arrived in the mail today.

Today is shaping up to be a good day.

Friday, January 22, 2010

I missed the actual anniversary....

....but it was a year ago this month that my pride & joy, my heart, my little man, Jonas went missing. A little tiny pug, gone for 10 days in the middle of winter, sub-zero temperatures. I still get upset when I think about it.

But there was some good to come out of the 10 days he was gone (maybe not for the boy.....the 10 days were rougher on him than they were on me, because he had to put up with my sobbing, blubbering, sorrowful self for that entire time.) But dozens and dozens of people came forward to help me find him. Some people I had never met, and they didn't know me or my dog. Some people were friends, or friends of friends. I had strangers calling my home asking if he'd been found. I had people offer to put up reward money. People going door-to-door. People putting up posters. People participating in search parties. All for my dog.

I can never thank those people enough.

Neither can Jonas!

I had a man..... & ask me today why I hadn't returned the voicemails he left me over a week ago, regarding some tickets he wanted to give away on-air.

Initially, there was panic, and my mind raced to come up with a white lie to explain my complete disregard of his trying to contact me. Then I just told him flat out I never check my voicemail.

He thought that was funny. And to think of all the time I've wasted coming up with excuses. I think I'm going to change my voicemail recording.

"Hi, you've reached Jamie in Promotions. I am not going to ask you to leave a message here and then lie and tell you I will call you back. The truth of the matetr is, I won't. I never check this thing. Email me instead. Have a great day."

Last night....

....we rented the movie "Paranormal Activity". Scary movies are usually really good or really bad. This one was really good (I thought). Especially if you like more subtle-type scary movies.

Anyways, I told the boy the it had really creeped me out. So much so that in the middle of the night, when I came back to the bedroom after going pee, he thought it would be funny rouse himself from what I could have sworn was a dead sleep, hide behind our bedroom door, in the pitch black, and jump out and tackle me while screaming.

I know, I know....I feel like I live with a 9 year old.

Anyways, my first reaction was to scream right back and cover my eyes, while simultaneously backing myself into a corner. He thought this was hilarious. Then I tried to punch him. And I missed. I almost peed my pants.

Suffice it to say, if I were a character in a horror film, I would probably be killed off in the first 5 minutes.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

I came across....

...MSN's list of the Top 10 Most Unromantic Song Lyrics Ever.

A few of my favourites.....

3. "Lips of an Angel," Hinder
"My girl's in the next room, sometimes I wish she was you."

Almost every girl I know loves this song, and anytime I hear them sing along I want to slap them in the face....have you never even listened to the words?! The guy singing is the biggest ass in the world.

4. "Gently," Tenacious D
"What's your favourite posish?
That's cool with me, it's not my favourite
But I'll do it for you"

If you don't think that's funny, I don't wanna know you.

6. "Gett Off," Prince
"Now move your big a** 'round this way so I can work on that zipper, baby
Cus, tonight you're a star--and I'm the big dipper"

Ok, yes, maybe it's the worst pick-up line ever....but it's Prince and he can say whatever he wants as far as I'm concerned.

7. "My Sherona," The Knack
"Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind.
Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind.
M M M My Sharona."

I guarantee you've sung along to this song at least 3 times in your life and you've never realized you sounded like a pedophile.

And lastly.....

8. "Breakfast in America," Supertramp
"Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got
Not much of a girlfriend
I never seem to get a lot"

Blatantly evident how this one made it on the list, isn't it?

One of my favourite songs....

...because it's funny yet still good. I've never watched the video, but I just found it online. Enjoy.

Get ready to be grossed out.....

....last night I was lying in bed reading. I felt my bangs fall into my eyes and I reached up to push them aside....and then I remembered I don't have bangs. What, in fact, had landed on my eye was a giant spider.

I cried myself to sleep.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I am such an as....

...this morning I totally road raged at someone, only to realize a second later that I was the one completely in the wrong. I was that person.

So I have this couch....

...that I've been trying to sell. I just bought it this summer. I love it. It's perfect. It's big & comfortable and has room for the boy, myself and an assortment of dogs. It's leather so when it gets covered in pet hair I can just blow it off. Voila.

I don't want to sell it. The only problem is, it doesn't fit in my living room. Which is kind of important. I mean, if not the living room, the only other options are to move it to the dining room or kitchen.

Ok, technically it fits....but just barely. It is wedged in tighter than my Grade 7 jeans. It spans the entire length from wall to wall. You cannot walk around it. If someone comes to the front door you have to crawl over the back of the couch to get to answer it.

We measured it before bringing it home. But I guess the question "Will it fit?", is relative. It does fit....just not well.

Anyways, we've been trying to sell it, without luck.

But I've had a revelation. Rather than selling it and replacing it with a smaller couch, I have now decided to renovate my living room to accomodate it. That is how you think outside the box people.

wait til the boy hears about my new idea!

Anyone who thinks.....

...that bartenders don't earn their pay, this is for you.

Customer: "Can I have a double rye with one ice cube."

(I make him the drink.)

Customer: "There's more than one ice cube in here."
Me: "Yeah, there is. See how the ice is in a big pile? Unless you want me to use my fingers you may end up with more than one of them."
Customer: "How long have you worked here?"
Me: "5 or 6 years."
Customer: "I've never seen you in here before."
Me: "Yes, you have. I just served you last week."
Customer: "I thought maybe you were new."
Me: "No - you are new."
Customer: "Yeah, I haven't been coming here that long. Just moved back from Toronto."
Me: "Hm."
Customer: "So, have you gone to school? Like, are you educated?"
Me: "Yup."
Customer: "Good, I like that in a woman."

Then he proceeded to ask me no fewer than 45 questions.

Cstomer: "Are you married? Why not? Do you want to get married? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you think you guys will get married? Where are you from originally? Why did you move up here? Do you like it here? What are you reading? Why aren't you listening to me? What did you take at school? Where did you go to school? Do you have another job? You musn't make very good money at your other job if you have to work here part time."

Then, the kicker....

Customer: "Am I bothering you?"
Me: "If you want the truth, yes, you are."
Customer: "Why don't you like me?"
Me: "I never said I don't like you."
Customer: "I can tell you don't like me. I'm very perceptive."

Sometimes the customer is always right.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I am a sick, sick girl....

....I chose to bake dog snacks last night instead of human cookies.

What is wrong with me?

The dogs liked them though. Well, I mean, they ate them anyways. But they also eat lint, rocks and hair. So they don't exactly have the most refined palate.

Monday, January 18, 2010

It's a little sad.....

....that I feel like I have nothing to write about after an entire weekend. This is how mundane my life has become. I worked a lot. Maybe that's why. Yes, let's go with that.

I did a remote from the Bridal Show. There was some really nice exhibits. And I refrained from kicking anyone, despite hearing "Soooo....when are you going to be a bride?" approximately 48 times.

My Mom & Stepdad were up for the quickest visit ever. They got here yesterday afternoon and left this morning. But I heard my mom say to me, "Whatever, you want to do, it's up to you."

Then, the earth shifted. No, I'm just kidding....but it's still a big deal. My mother has never uttered those words to me in 28 1/2 years. She must have been impressed with my mature demeanor and responsible decision-making process. Like, when I told her I want to buy a monkey for instance.

(I should point out, she did not say "Whatever, you want to do, it's up to you" when I mentioned the monkey, it was actually in response to a comletely different topic of conversation.)

I'm pretty sure this post is going nowhere. But, on a positive note, it's lunch time!

On an unrelated note.....I came across this. it may be fake...but it's still weird.

Um, Bon Appetit?

Friday, January 15, 2010

Oh dear......

....these 2 little monkeys are going to be on the Mix Morning Zoo this morning.

Be still my beating heart....

Look at his knees? Ate those not the cutest dog knees ever?

I can't believe it....

....but all my nerves over MC'ing that press conference yesterday were for nothing. I actually had a great time. The people were fun, the event in itself is pretty surreal, so I should have known a press conference regardig it wouldn't be too uptight. There were lots of laughs and familiar I can breathe now. Done.

I'm officially a Wiarton Willie 2010 press conference MC veteran.

As a former classmate of mine noted yesterday, I certainly never thought I would grow up to ever utter those words.

On a completed unrelated note.....I thought plastic surgery was supposed to make you look younger?

My forehead hurts just looking at this photo. Not to mention.....nevermind.

Oh, Heidi, no.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I got some good news today....

....first of all my Mom is visiting this weekend. The reason this is great news is because she notified me ahead of time of her plans. Unlike the last time when she thought it would be clever to show up and surprise me. Now, don't get me wrong. I like having family visit me....I live 7 hours away from my hometown so I get overly excited when anyone even suggests a possible trip up this way. But as anyone who has a mother knows, a visit from Mom means a pre-emptive Martha Stewart-level cleaning spree, and numerous hours, even days, spent making sure everything is just right. Grass is mowed, hair is styled, clothes aren't ripped, there is food in the cupboards, the dogs aren't acting up, etc etc. Any little thing Mom could pick up on and then criticize, needs to be attended to. Stepford Wife style. And a Stepford Wife I am not.

Anyways, the second bit of good news I got, came in an email from my best friend back home. Her & her new BF are coming to Owen Sound for a wedding this summer! Lisa hasn't been here to visit in years. It's not until June but I am so excited already. Of course, I immediately had to find out who's wedding it is, as being in a small town, for all I know, we know the couple who's getting hitched. This is Lisa:

Anyways, my excitement of learning about these two impeding visits is being slightly overshadowed by the fact that I have to MC a press conference for the Wiarton Willie Festival tomororw morning. i'M VERY NERVOUS. Fortunately, a co-worker hooked me up with some official Wiarton Willie I will at least fit in with the locals.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

How exactly do you pronounce a $ sign?

This is the question that has been wracking the brains of many fellow radio people for months now in the wake of the catchy first single from "Ke$ha". It is pronounced "Keh-Shah"? Or "Key-sha"? I've even heard "Kay-sha". My recommendation for any new artist (or Prince) would be to never use symbols in your name. you're welcome.

Anyways, at work yesterday, this very conversation led to another discussion regarding other terrible names. I said anything with an apostrophe is generally a bad idea. Then a co-worker showed me this video. I was laughing out loud. Take it with a grain of salt....but I don't care who you are, this stuff is funny:

Lord help me.....

.....but I got the crazy notion to sign up for a writing class. The only problem is I'm not a writer. And I am already envisioning being stuck in this little bookstore, once a week for 2 months, with a bunch of really smart people, having to read my previous week's homework assignment OUT LOUD to the group. This is another fear of mine. Public speaking. Ironic, I know, because of what I do every day to make a living. But seriously....I was writing this blog for like 2 months before I even told anyone I had a blog. Yet, I posted new entries diligently.

Oh, on the topic of public speaking, I get to MC the Wiarton Willie 2010 Press Conference on Thursday. Move over Vancouver 2010. This is where the real action will be happening.

I love that photo - it looks like I just really cannot contain my enthusiasm. My face also looks very blotchy. There may have been some sort of self-tanner misfortune going on, I'm not sure.

Anyways, get ready I come.

I finally..... the house. The tree is still up though. It's possible that it's taken root in the laminate floors. We might just try to keep it alive until next Christmas.

Who says November 22nd is too early to put up a real tree?!

On a side note, I only just today was notified that my voicemail recording at work is me telling people I'm off for the holidays and wishing them a Merry Christmas. The sad part is, it's now the 12th of January and no one else has notified me of this.

Maybe I'll add "Update Voicemail Greeting" to my agenda for this afternoon. Done & done...what's next?

I don't make....

...New Year's Resolutions. So this year I waited until January 4th before deciding to give up Pepsi. Then it's a resolution of sorts, but not a "new year's" resolution. See how that works? Anyways, I'm allowed to drink Diet Pepsi, just not regular Pepsi. It's nowhere near close to the sweet, syrupy goodness of regular Pepsi. And anyone who says it is, is a big liar.

Has anyone ever lost their mind from quitting Pepsi cold turkey?

There's a first time for everything.

Last night the boy.....

....was kind enough to cook supper for me while I lay on the couch watching a 2-hour episode of The Bachelor. (Yes, my life is usually that exciting.) Anyways, he was trying to talk on the phone while pouring the pasta into the boiling water (he's very domestic you see) and instead he poured pasta shells all over the kitchen floor. As he swept as the noodles into a dustpan and held it out for me to see, I examined the assortment of shells and tufts of dog hair. Then he asked me if I still wanted pasta.

Friday, January 8, 2010

I have a secret to tell you.....

....I just watched Zombieland. It came out last year and I've been meaning to watch it forever. I finally got around to it. It was really good! Woody Harrelson is in it. I love him. Oh, and it also stars Abigail Breslin. Remember her? She was the little girl in the amazing movie Little Miss Sunshine. Anyways, you should check out both these films.

I LOVE Zombie movies. I'm learning to embrace the fact that I have the same taste in movies as most 12-year-old boys.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

To my friends.....

...who tell me that I keep adopting dogs as a way to satiate my secret desire to really have children of my own......don't be silly! You are so totally wrong.

On a completely unrelated note, scroll down to check out my new dog carrier:

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

My sister-in-law.....

...just had this to say about my Glamour Shot posting from earlier today (just scroll a few postings down if you missed it.)

Isn't that the picture you always hid at the cottage before having friends up?"

Well, yes Christina, it is....but I've stopped hiding it. Now, I just embrace it.


Speaking of loud & proud.......(scroll down)


I love you.

Do you ever.... this? You are in the middle of talking about something or thinking something in your head while at the same time typing an email? And you are kind of zoned out and suddenly you realize you've started typing out your thoughts/conversation instead of what you really meant to write about?

Anyways, that just happened to me. And I may have hit "send" before I realized what I had done. Which isn't a big deal. Except the lame part is that I was talking about Kate Gosselin. I know, I have no life. So some co-workers may have just received a message about next week's contests.....which then, mid-sentence, moves on to discuss everyone's favourite reality show mom. All in all, it's not nearly as bad as the time I almost emailed the Sales Manager at my job a question about birth control (I thought I was emailing my Mom.)

But I digress...the reason I was talking about Kate Gosselin's hair is because I was thrilled to discover she finally got rid of her trademark style and went long. Which is something I have actually been trying to telepathically convince her to do for the last 8 months or so. When I first saw the photo of her new hair, it was very small, so I couldn't really make it out....but she looked really good. I always knew she would be a totally hot lady if she just fixed the hair.

So while I applaud her intensions....Kate, I gotta say, those are some rough looking extensions.

I have both of these.....

....items in my bag today.

Anyone else see the irony here?

The days you..... out of conditioner should be automatic sick days.

I'm just sayin.

The definition of pure evil....


That is some hair.

Don't do it kids.....they will only serve to haunt you in the future.

As someone who is......

.....addicted to Facebook, I can still admit that there is a lot of ridiculous stuff on there. Here are a few things I am not fond of:
-I dislike when people air their personal problems in their status lines.
-I dislike when people change their "relationship status" more than once a year.
-I also dislike when narcissistic girls take dozens of close-up self portraits of their face, while trying to capture that perfect sultry (i.e. trampy) come-hither look. And then post them all.
-I dislike when guys take shirtless photos of their refelction in a bathroom mirror. Honey, your camera probably has an auto-timer....I mean, if you MUST.
-Also, don't post a photo of a car as a profile pic. I am pretty sure that is not what you look like. Unless you are a giant douche.

Anyways, these are some of the rules I would impose if I were Mark Zuckerberg.

Alas, I'm not, so I try to overlook all these annoying things I see on facebook every day. And instead, I try to take pleasure in the small things. Like this:

*Note the baby amongst the glowing light/flame thingy.

Are they wizards? Genies? It doesn't matter. God bless the people who post things like this and see no absurdity in it whatsoever.

For more nonsense (good & bad) found on Facebook check out:

Monday, January 4, 2010

Have you ever......

.....gone to an all-you-can-eat buffet, swiped an extra piece of meat, wrapped it in a napkin, stuffed this greasy meat-mess in your pocket, and made a break for the car while your blissfully unaware girlfriend pays the bill, with no regard whatsoever to what may happen if she unwittingly takes the fall for your thievery?

No?, neither has the boy.

Ok, ok, this is exactly what he did. I'm not going to say where this incident took place. You see, I am a big fan of the buffets. Oh, lordy, am I ever a fan of buffets. And I don't want to risk being banned from one. Particularly from this one great little establishment.

Anyways, the only thing that kept me from turning him into the proper authorities (i.e. our semi-cranky & unenthused waitress) was because he told me he swiped the extra strip of bacony goodness for these guys.

And somehow, that made it all ok.

How could I say no to those little faces? Especially the fat one second from the right? If there is anything she needs, it's some more bacon.

A word to the wise......

.....don't bother trying out the new black nail polish trend if you are over the age of 18.

Or, unless you are a cast member of The Hills.

I had to learn the hard way.