Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I am at least a 9....

....on the lame-o scale today. Teetering dangerously close to a 10 though.

It is now 1:11 p.m.

And I just relized my shirt has been inside out all day. Either no one has noticed, or no one bothered to tell me. Including the dozen or so other Managers I was in the boardroom with for an hour this morning.

I have now rectified the problem but am supremely mortified.

Enjoy your day!

Monday, March 29, 2010

We spent the large part......

....of yesterday cleaning out the garage. And by "large part", I mean 4 hours. It had gotten a little out of hand. Anyways, it now looks great. (I was going to post before & after photos, but the "before" photo was too embarassing, even for me.)

But the best thing about tackling that chore yesterday was that I came across an entire shoebox of photos that I thought I had lost.

Like this one:

I am in the back row, third from the left. Well, fourth if you count the teacher. They always used to put us big ones in the back. Story of my life.

I love this one:

It brings back some great memories.
a) my favourite place on earth, my grandparents cottage
b) a time when i was a natural blonde

And, god willing, it's the only topless photo of my floating around on the Internet.

Let's have a look at this one for a moment:

That photo is wrong for the following reasons:
a) my hair cut
b) the giant liquor bottle I am playing with
c) the bathing attire in the background

This picture of my Mom back in high school is one of my favourites:

They were probably the mean girls in high school. She looks like a mega bitch. Ina good way. Like she's in the cast of Grease. If Grease was set in the late seventies. Anyways.

By contrast, here I am during high school:

Obviously lacking some of the glamour and grace my mom posessed. And let's just get past the shoes right now everyone. Ok, get an eye full....take them in......and.....move on.

Not to be outdone, my Dad had his own style rockin' during my early childhood:

I like to call this look terorrist chic. (As for the artwork on our living room wall....I can only attribute my mother's poor inetrior design decisions to it being the 80's. I'm sorry.)

I hope you enjoyed my photo show & tell. Thanks for checking in.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I am doing some cooking tonight....

....and I've been asked a few times why I don't share my recipes on here. I am often talking about food. So why don't I share? Well, here's a little secret; I hate sharing recipes. I'm selfish. And possessive. And I like to take credit for recipes, even those that I've stolen from friends/family/other websites. Plus, this particular recipe has kind of become my signature dish when I'm asked to bring something to a get together or party. If I were going to share it (I'm not) I would make you promise me, if you were going to try this recipe, you could never bring it to a social function that I was going to be in attendance at. Because I would totally call you out in public for stealing my recipe. Just so you know. Anyways, if you are looking for good recipe sites check out and click on her Cooking section. She has everything organized by category, and she's got some really neat, yet simple ideas. And teh best part is she takes photos of each step in the in process. It makes it a lot more fun, plus you can get a pretty good idea of what the finished product is going to look like.

Speaking of food, the boy took me out for lunch at Europa yesterday (if you've never tried it, go!). I never get to take a lunch break, and we never take lunch together, so it was nice.

While there, the owner's wife came over to our table to chat and midway through the conversation the topic turned to the Fitness Centre next door. She asked if I work out there. I tried not to choke on my 2 pounds of Beef Ravioli and stifled my laughter.

Clearly this woman does not realize that my status line on Facebook yesterday was:

"Jamie Johnston is wondering if it's to start devouring a bag of chocolate Eggies?"

This was posted at 9:30 a.m.

I really need..... find a couple of guinea pigs. Stat.

Like, yesterday.

I know you are asking yourself, "Why would someone need a guinea pig, let alone two?"

("A gun rack? A gun rack? I don't even own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. what am I going to do with a gun rack?" Sorry, sometimes inserting lines from Wayne's World is the only way I feel I can convey the proper intonation of a particular piece of internal dialogue.)

Let me tell you. We got the short one an early Easter gift. She has been begging for a guinea pig for months. And the condition was as long as she stayed on top of looking after the litter box (haha, kids are such gullible suckers) we would get her the next giunea pig that came into the animal shelter. Well, of course, ever since my having said that, there has been an extreme shortage of available GP's.

So then I took my search to the web. After months of waiting and looking I found exactly what we were hoping for. A very lovely woman, trying to find a good home for not one, but two female guinea pigs. Free to a good home, cage included. Done deal right? Not quite. After some back and forth emails, our arrangement fell through.

Now this would all be fine except I already told the short one that these critters were coming to our home. And I haven't told her about the recent turn of events. So now I am on the hunt for sibling guine pigs and time is a tickin'.

Wish me luck.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Tis' the season....

....for garage sales! My favourite time of year (aside from Christmas). The first one was this past Saturday. I almost pulled out my camera and took a photo of it, until the boy told me to grow up and act like a normal person. And normal people don't take photos to mark the occassion of the first garage sale of the year. I guess.

Anyways, it was wonderful. It's got me already looking forward to flea markets, and antiquing and yard sales. And the mother of them all....Goods Exchange Day (aka Giveaway Day, aka Curb Crawling). That is not until next month but I already have it marked in my day planner. I wish that were not true. But it is.

I was discussing Goods Exchange Day with some co-workers today, only one of whom was as excited about it as I am. I was trying to explain to the others that I treat it like a safari. It can be a long, grueling trek, sometimes requiring a trip home to re-stock on food and proper clothing before heading out again. This can continue long into the night. I take it very seriously.

Co-worker: "I couldn't believe it - one time I was out, it was geting late, and saw these losers with flashlights looking into the boxes of free crap at the end of every laneway."
Me: "That was me."

I am....

...a stickler for getting things done on time. I hate procrastinating.

I just wanted to clarify that in case my getting rid of last year's Christmas Tree in late March was making you think otherwise.

I don't know her....

...but I'm still super happy for this lady. She sounds really sweet. And funny.

"TORONTO - A part-time supermarket cashier and occasional lottery-ticket buyer choked back tears Monday as she pondered how her bank balance had gone from under $100 to more than $20 million with the luck of the draw.

An overwhelmed Bonnie Preece, 49, of London, Ont., flanked by her husband, parents and sisters, collected half of Saturday's Lotto 6-49 jackpot. "For me, I can't grasp this kind of money," she said struggling for words.

"My savings account was $80.17; I think it's going to be a little bit more than that now."

"I told her, 'Sit down and take a coffee,' " said husband William Rollings, 57, as he brushed a tear from her eye as her head poked above the oversize novelty cheque that she clutched as if her life depended on it.

She opted not to go in for her shift Sunday.

Preece said she was forced to declare bankruptcy a few years ago after her first marriage ended. She couldn't even get a credit card.

Asked if she had a message for her ex, she said simply: "Sucks to be you."

The owner of the store, Gary Coyle, praised her as a wonderful community-minded woman who worked with seniors and loved animals.

No Frills, where she dropped off treats for colleagues Monday morning, has agreed to keep her on its payroll until she decides whether she will be returning to work, a job that paid $12.30 an hour.

"I'll probably still shop there - I like my specials," she said.

However, she also said she had plans to travel, invest, help her family and friends, and finally buy a car.

"I don't want to take the bus anymore."

Preece said she was heading straight home to her rented two-bedroom apartment she moved to in January to let her two dogs out.

They will be getting a yard soon, she joked."

I'm sad it wasn't my numbers that were drawn, but this lady sounds totally deserving.

I'm a poor sport....

...I think nothing of rubbing it in people's faces when I beat them at something.

This morning I was owed a coffee from one of our newsies, Jenn Rock. Her, being a Habs fan, had bet me, a Sens fan, a coffee depending on the outcome of our teams match up last night. My team won.

And this is the most delicious coffee ever.

I could have just let it go.....instead I left this on her desk for all the newsroom to see.

Ahhh, sweet victory. It tastes like a large Hazelnut vanilla brew.

Remember when....

...I told you I was going to renovate my living room to that my couch would fir, instead of just buying a smaller couch?

For a reminder, go here:

Anyways, I bet you thought I was kidding, didn't you?


We hosted a shindig....

...for the short one this past Friday night. She moved away with her Mom. So although we still get her every second weekend, she won't get to see her friends from school every day like she used to.

Anyone who knows me, knows I get very excited about party planning. Even if it's just an informal sleepover for 10-year old girls. Lootbags. Smores. Lots of junk food. Truth or Dare. At one point there was even an Easter Egg Hunt in the works!

The boy had different ideas though......

All little girls like fire right?

Then, he thought it would be wise to bust out a bow & arrow for a little target practice.

I hope Brooke enjoyed her party, as it's probably the last one her friends will be allowed to attend at our house if their parents have anything to say about it.

Weapon lessons & massive pillars of flame? Just another children's party at the Johnston residence.

We did it!

We participated in the 11th Annual Polar BEar Dip in the Bay! It was this past Saturday.

Unfortunately, the ice had blown into the bay overnight so that prevented us from actually jumping in. I was bummed. But the organizers told us that the ice was jagged and dangerous and "horrible". That sold me on Plan B. The Fire department dropped their hoses into the Bay and set up a giant size sprinkler, which we all had to run through.

Here is our "Before" shot....still looking relatively pleased with ourselves:

And the "After":

Looking a little dazed and uncomfortable.

Anyways, I raised over $500. My team, Mix 106, raised over $2000 to help support local Special Olympians as they get set to head to Sudbury this year for the floor hockey championship.

Thanks to everyone who pledged me!

When we first got.....

....our cat Gorgeous George, he was at home with us for a couple of days before he made a kamikaze-like leap from an open second floor window of our home and dissapeared into the sunset. Now, I can't say I blame him. This relatively mellow cat had suddenly been dropped into the centre of a mad house with two large dogs tormenting him at every turn. I guess after those first 48 hours the guy had just had enough and split. I felt terrible obviously. How could I ever be trusted to look after anything if my new cat would rather take the chance of leaping to it's death rather than live with me. Anyways, Georgie was only gone a few days before I managed to catch him and re-immerse him into the constant canine torment.

Gorgeous George has, in the two years since this incident, settled in quite nicely. He is fat. He intentionally picks wrestling matches with the dogs for his own personal entertainment. He even snuggles with them in their dog bed when he's feeling particularly friendly.

Last night, I was driving up the street and I saw Georgie on someone's front porch, about 2 blocks from home. And he wasn't just sitting there. He was scratching at their door. As if he'd been let in there before.

That ungrateful little monster has been two-timing me with another family. No wonder hes gotten so fat.

He thinks he's so smart. I'm giong to have a talk with him when he gets home tonight. If that's how it's gonna be, well, two can play that game my feline friend.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

I just referrred.... someone as "kid". I was speaking to a co-worker asbout a mutual aquaintance, and I said, "Yeah, he's a good kid."

This "kid" I was referring to is older than I am. I have no idea why I would have used that term other than I may have temporarily morphed into a 65-year-old woman.

Anyways.....there is still two days left to pledge me in the 2010 Polar Bear Dip. Thi sis taking place on Saturday. I will be jumping into the icy waters of Georgian Bay, along with a couple co-workers. Everyone keeps saying I'm lucking out because the weather has been warmer lately. Um, last time I checked, the bay is still frozen, and 10 degress does not a summer day make. That being said, it's all in support of Ontario Special Olympics.

My original goal was to try to raise $200 in pledges. Slightly more than I raised last year. Well, I've surpasses my goal and am now the 5th highest fundraiser for this event. I am still quite a ways behind the Top 3. But, my new goal is to raise another $84. This would put me at the $400 mark. I will have doubled my original goal and raised a good chunk of money for a great cause.

If you have a credit card, you can pledge me directly. It will take you literally 2 minutes, if not less. Just go to (or copy & paste) this link:

To everyone who has already pledged me, I thank you for your support. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures this weekend so I have photographic evidence that I did in fact take the plunge! Wish me luck!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

My mom.... visiting my brother in California right now. She's there for 10 whole days. I bet they are talking about me behind my back. I can feel it.

I'm onto you guys. Stop.

I can't wait til someone in the family comes to visit me next.




P.S. Are pigtails appropriate for anyone over the age of 12? If not, I missed the memo.

Ok, I probably just.....

....ruined my luck. I just blogged about how nice the last two days have been, and how good things are happening. And now I'm probably going to get my ass kicked by karma. So I'm going to write about something not so great that happened yesterday.

I'm lazy today, so let's approach this in a point form. You'll get the idea.

-late for work
-dog runs away
-searching the neighborhood
-see dog but now he thinks it's a game
-still won't come back
-dog running through the neigbour's yard with a 20 foot leash trailing in the breeze behind him
-me in the driveway with soaking wet hair, sweatpants, and flip flops
-dog returns
-covered in mud
-requires his second bath in as many days

-requires me to have a second shower, after I'm done bathing him
-but don't have time
-now need to cover the rug so sopping wet dog doesn't ruin it
-same with the couch
-he is going to be the death of me

-but i still love him
-the end.

It's been a good.....

....two days. The sun has been shining, everyone has spring fever, and good things are happening.

1. I got an email from my Godfather. He is on business in Afgahnistan right now so it was nice he had taken the time to send me a quick note. He called me a "jewel". I agree.

2. The short one is up for a visit. For the whole week. It's March Break. Sweet Pete, it's expensive trying to entertain kids all day long. But it's fun.

3. We've been sleeping with our bedroom window open for the last week. It's cold at night but it smells like summer. And I wake up in the morning to the sound of seagulls. Not as annoying as it sounds. It's actually quite nice, when I haven't heard any bird noises for the last 6 months of cold.

4. I just found out about an hour ago that one of my best friends from college is expecting a baby. I'm so happy for her. She's also a newlywed. And a blogger. If you want to read about her, approximately, 8 pregnancy tests go here:

5. Another good college friend of mine just uploaded a bunch of old photos from our school years to Facebook. And they made me miss those friends. And my former waistline. What happened?

I hope the sunshine is also bringing out good things for your week so far!

Friday, March 12, 2010

This week at my....

....writing class, we were given a new assignment. We had to imagine we were a 14 year old girl who, as part of a school assigment, had to write a will.

Now, I altered the assignment slightly. Because, the sad part is, I in fact did write my will. Only as an 8 year old. Or at least some semblance of what I thought a will should be. What can I say, I had some morbid, messed up moments as a kid.

Step one was to assemble a list of people I thought should be at my funeral. As if it were some sort of exclusive, albeit macabre, VIP nightclub.

"Sorry, not on the list? Yeah, you can't come in."

A red star beside your name meant you had been denoted as worthy enough to get up and make a speech about me. Nothing like an inflated sense of self-worth. For a pre-teen I must have had quite a healthy ego. I indicated that my preference was a pink marble tombstone, embedded with glittering crystals. (These are the types of things I thought would logically be included in one's will.)

Regarding the distribution of my worldy assets....most importantly, my Barbie collection could not be sold for at least 10 years, or until it had accrued it's, no doubt, astronomical value. My little brother could keep the fortune that would surely be made from this sale.

I never got around to working on the playlist for my memorial service. But I should. That's not a task I could trust just anyone to do. At least not without a little insight from the guest of honour.

I only have 2 more weeks of my writing class left. Hopefully these last 2 classes will inspire some more of my riveting childhood memories such as this. We can always hope.

Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

My friend....

...Jenn just emailed me.

"OMG you look SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pretty in your picture with Gord. You're super photogenic anyway, but that's an AMAZING picture of you!! Profile pic it!!!!"

This picture she is referring to is this one:

Here was my response:

"Weird, cause in my CURRENT profile picture i look like a fat-ass.......apparently i'm either super photogenic or NOT at all. there's no middle ground with me."

That, and the fact that I lost a bet. And I have to keep up my end of the deal. The damn Leafs beat my dear Sens. As a result, this will be my profile picture until Monday.

Enjoy, because you will never see me wearing blue & white (in this context) again.

Remember the group....

.....Blackstreet? Probably not. If you're lucky anyways. But you might remember their one hit "No Diggity". I don't remember what year this came out. The nineties. Sometime.

Anyways, this band called The Klaxons just did a cover of it. And it's good.

It took me....

....2 days to get over my hangover. But I'm back. And feeling much better. I had such a fun night out with my Pub girls (and for those of you who weren't able to make it, we missed you!) If any of you are reading this, I love you girlies. Let's make sure we try to get together every once in a while.

On a positive note, only one person asked me why in the world I was hungover on a Thursday. Apparently this behaviour is more widely accepted than I thought. Good deal.

On a sidenote, I just accidentally used the word "Gosh" while on the air. Somebody punch me in the face please.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

My boss....

....just brought me a Strawberry Cheese-quake Blizzard. This may be the best cure for a hangover ever. (More on that later.)

This is just what the doctor ordered.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Home from Ottawa....

....and the inevitable bout of homesickness has now passed. I spent the last hour of the drive home crying. I already missed Ottawa...and my family. Especially my grandma. And I added a healthy dose of guilt to the mix by replaying a scene over and over in my head, wherein earlier that morning my grandma was trying to hand my a bag of peanut butter cookies she had made and 8 people were talking to me at once and I was distracted and I didn't even get to thank her.

I called her as soon as we made it home to thank her for the cookies. And then she said she already missed me because she felt like she barely got to see me this weekend...and then I got choked up but I didn't want her to know so I squeeked out the words "I know" and then changed the subject.

Then I called my Mom who asked the question that she should never ask me.

Mom: "So did you enjoy your trip?"
Me: "I guess...."
Mom: "What do you mean? What's wrong?"
Me:...... sudden burst of hysterical sobbing interspersed with random attempts at coherent speech.

While I was on the phone the boy ran me a bath, and even carefully placed my new People magazine (featuring Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher!) on the edge of the tub for me. And then he told me if I ever decide I want to move home, he would pack up our things and move with me in a heartbeat. Then everything was better.

Today, I brought some of Marmy's "Wacky Cake" in my lunch. Today everything is great.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Off to Ottawa.....

....this afternoon! The yearly Owen Sound to Ottawa road trip. Our group has almost doubled in size this year. There will be 8 of us. I'm so excited! Also excited for the +10 degree weather Ottawa is supposed to get tomorrow. That NEVER happens this time of year!

I won't be checking in for a few days. But I'll hopefully have some good pictures to share when I get back.

Have a fabulous weekend everyone!


Thursday, March 4, 2010

I always like to....

....check the online version of my hometown newspaper, just to make sure I can somewhat keep up to date on what is happening there.

Today, I came across this article:

Man rescued from North Gower silo

Emergency crews have freed a man who was trapped inside a massive silo.

The Ottawa fire department's technical rescue unit has been on the scene at 2518 Lockhead Rd. near Fourth Line Rd., just outside North Gower for a number of hours. The man was trapped inside one of several corn silos at North Gower Grains. Prior to the man being rescued, paramedics said it was not believed he suffered any major injuries.

There is no information on how the man came to be trapped, or how long he was inside the silo before he was discovered.

The man, whose name has not been released, was buried neck-deep in corn kernels and was in danger of suffocating before fire crews arrived just after 12:30 this afternoon. He was outfitted with a harness and given an air mask earlier this afternoon.

Ottawa fire sector chief Paul Hutt said earlier today rescue crews worked to remove corn kernels from around the man. Crews suspended from the top of the silo built what Hutt said is a box with slats of wood to take the pressure and weight of the corn off the man's body. They also cut a hole in the bottom of the silo to remove kernels.

More than 30 rescue workers arrived at the scene.

Ok....not funny right? Maybe a little. But certainly embarassing. I jokingly emailed my Mom, asking her if my stepdad was alright. (It wasn't really my stepdad stuck in the corn. I'm just immature and thought that would be a clever joke.)

Almost as soon as I hit "send" I realized I should never have made jokes at this man's expense. I remembered the time when I was about 7 or 8 and thought I was the coolest kid in the world. Me & my best friends, The Jensens, were playing cops & robbers in the empty lot behind the post office. This is what we used to do on Sunday afternoons I guess. I was a robber. Of course. Anyways, I climbed the only tree in the middle of this lot. And got stuck.

Now, not just "stuck" as in I climbed too high and didn't know how to get down. You see, to brace myself I had wedged my leg between a deep "V" half way up the trunk. Unbeknownst to me, the longer I sat there hiding from the "cops", my leg was sliding further and further down into this V. Until suddenly I began to feel a little uncomfortable. And squished. And light headed. And then I realized it was too late. My thigh (the skinny thigh of a gawky pre-pubescent kid) had become stuck.

The next 45 minutes were spent bawling, screaming, and trying to come to grips with spending the rest of my life as an amputee. Various homeamade devices were constructed (thanks Viggo) and attempts were made to free me manually. When thi sfailed the Fire Department was called. From here my young mind seems to have adopted voluntary amnesia bacsue I do not remember actually being freed from the tree. My next memory is being carried along the Main Street of our small town in my mother's arms. In hysterics.

And mortified to see that various clusters of spectators had gathered to see what was going on. More were streaming out into the street. As embarassed as I was, now that I think back, it must have been worse for my Mom. I mean, what kind of child causes such a scenario? It was probably the most action the local Fire department had seen in years. And it certainly gave the town somehting to talk about for a few days.

Did I mention I moved away from town the day after I graduated high school?

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I can't believe I'm....

....going to willingly share this conversation with everyone.

Co-worker: "82% of our conversations are about lunch and 17% are complaining about co-workers. If our co-wporkers quit and your shift was later in the day I don't think we'd talk about anything."

Me: "That sounds so depressing.....yet it doesn't bother me as much as it probably should."

Co-worker: "It gets me through the day."

Me: "If I worked a different shift, you & I would probably spend the first half of the day talking about all the endless possible locations we could go to GET lunch....
and I would spend the afternoon whining about how I ate too much and how I need a nap. So, me being on-air over the lunch hour is pretty much a blessing in disguise.
And my cholesterol level is grateful.

Co-worker: "They say salt hardens the arteries or whatever. You'd think that would be a good thing... more durable!"

Me: "I would be superhuman."

Co-worker: "I would be batman for sure."

There you have it people. A rare glimpse into the Mensa-like conversation you are apt to hear when hanging out in the vicinity of a radio station.

If you do not.....

....have spring fever today, then there is something wrong with you. As soon as I woke up this morning I couldn't help but be in a good mood. The sun is shining. It's relatively warm (ok, fine....-1 degree) but the best part is, it smells like spring! That has got to be one of the best smells ever. Don't days like this just make you fall in love with everyone? When I was in high school I remember the first few days where we could go outside without a jacket. And the sun. And it meant it wouldn't be long until summer. Spring fever was in full force. Everyone was in a good mood. That girl that you usually couldn't stand was suddenly, magically tolerable. And friendly. That boy who's name you don't know and who you would never look at twice suddenly looks kind of hot. And he's prbably actually really smart and funny and likes all the same things you do.

So maybe it wasn't spring fever. Maybe it was hormones. But it exlains a lot of my poor dating choices over the years.

Anyways, I love days like this. And I'm going to spend the remainder of my afternoon trying to come up with a reason I need to get out of the bulding today to run errands. I think there will be a lot of people playing hooky today.

Well, it's the end.....

....of my run at the Pub. And it's been a good one!

I worked my final shift last night. And I got to thinking why the notion of leaving was making me so sad. I've worked there for 7 years (with a couple of short departures during the 2 occasions when I moved home to Ottawa). Seven years is not that long really. But it's 1/4 of my life! I can't even get my head around that idea. Sometimes it feels like I am still new to this town. Yet, without even realizing it I've spent a quarter of my life here. And with some of these girls...

I look so mcuh younger there. And thin. Damn it.

And with these customers......

And these customers......

Oddly, I very clearly remember the precise afternoon that shot was taken. It was about 5 years ago. And oddly it was taken in the very early afternoon.

New Years Eve.....eek.

I will miss it. And I wish it didn't have to change.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I realize....

...I am treading way too close to irrational thinking these days. This morning I was seriously pondering if I could make a recently-hired co-worker so incensed that they would punch me in the face, thus getting themselves fired.

And I wasn't just daydreaming. I was really considering attempting this as a logical option to rid my part-time workplace of this evil person.

Just when I thought....

....nothing could make me love Vince Vaughn anymore.....

.....I find out he's also a hockey fan.

Monday, March 1, 2010

I am now.....

....a redhead. I thought this change in hair colour might lift my spirits and get me out of the dumps. FAIL. But the boy told me he really liked the new colour. And he is bluntly honest. Anyways, I ran into my friend Jenn at the grocery store this past weekend. We were stuck in line together for about 15 minutes and nothing was mentioned about the new colour. And if anyone were to mention something about hair, it would be Jenn. And I Say this because 93% of our conversations revolve around hair colour, meal options, and home decor ideas. Then I'd been at work for a full 3.5 hours this morning and still no one had said anything. Nothing. Nothing good or bad. I just went to the washroom and stared at myself in the mirror for a full 30 seconds.

"I think this was a poor decision."

I mean, it has to be a bad sign when no one even acknowledges the fact you have a completely different hair colour, right? Even when someone you know gets a really terrible dye job or an unflattering cut, you still lie and say 'Oh, new do! Lookin good!" Okay, unless you are the Fonz, you probably wouldn't say it like that. But you get my point.

I don't know what made me think I could pull off red hair. I saw a photo of a woman online who had gorgeous red locks. She looks nothing like me.

Anyways, I was really developping a complex. Then I started to sweat. (I can't be the only person out there who gets stress sweat, right?) So now I am worried that I look like a fool trying to pull off red hair, and also showcasing sweat stains in my new cardigan.

Now if anyone does mention my hair I'm goign to think they are just doin git because they read this blog. Don't do it people. I don't want your unfornate dye job pity!

We were....

......invited out for drinks last night. At one point during the evening I stepped outside for a moment. Standing on our hosts porch I felt something in my left pantleg. Instead of going back inside and discreetly trying to get to the bottom of the situation, I hauled up my cuff and reached as high up as I could go, and dislodged.....wait for it.....a rogue pair of underwear.

How these remained balled up and safely concealed in my jeans while I a)got dressed b) drove to our destination c) walked around their home looking at paint colours d) played with their new puppy, I will never know. But I thank god they didn't make a break for it while I was sitting at the table enjoying my third glass of Shiraz.

I will never be anything close to cool.