Clark: Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things.
Cousin Catherine Johnson: Not recently, Clark. He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol.
This happened a few months ago.....
It was around supper time and I was cleaning up, doing some sweeping. The boy & his cousin were watching tv. Suddenly I heard a rattle and a little thump behind me...when I turned around to look at the spot I had been sweeping just moments before, there was a little red squirrel. You see, we were in the middle of renovations and this little guy must have been lookin gfor a place to hide his food and once having crawled unde rthe roof, it would have been too late for him to realize there was no ceiling to stop him from falling right in. Now he was a little stunned because he just looked at me for a minute. I very calmly announced to the boys "There is a squirrel in the house". When the boys jumped up and came, so did all 3 dogs.....and a cat. That is when all hell broke loose. Think National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (one of my favourite movies of all time by the way). The squirrel went running through the house for cover, with 3 dogs and the boy in hot pursuit. All I could envision was ou rborrowed 48" flat screen tv coming crashing down. Anyways, at one point I screamed at the boy's cousin to grab the cat and get it outside......the dogs were circlin gthe couch, the boy had grabbed a BB gun and I had on a pair of over mitts. there were cries of "DON'T SHOOT!", "Watch my face!", "Where is it?", "the dogs are going to eat it!", "Put that god**** gun AWAY!" and then "Fine, throw me the oven mitts!"
Then, moving quicker than I could ever hope to do, the boy grabbed the squirrel and ran for the patio. "Get that door OPEN!" With the dogs in hot pursuit, the squirrel was ushered to the edge of the deck and launched to safety in the hedge.
Phew. Done.
Until a few minutes later when the boy's cousin looked out on the deck.
"Um, I think your cat caught something."
You have got to be kidding me.
Cousin Catherine Johnson: Not recently, Clark. He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol.
This happened a few months ago.....
It was around supper time and I was cleaning up, doing some sweeping. The boy & his cousin were watching tv. Suddenly I heard a rattle and a little thump behind me...when I turned around to look at the spot I had been sweeping just moments before, there was a little red squirrel. You see, we were in the middle of renovations and this little guy must have been lookin gfor a place to hide his food and once having crawled unde rthe roof, it would have been too late for him to realize there was no ceiling to stop him from falling right in. Now he was a little stunned because he just looked at me for a minute. I very calmly announced to the boys "There is a squirrel in the house". When the boys jumped up and came, so did all 3 dogs.....and a cat. That is when all hell broke loose. Think National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (one of my favourite movies of all time by the way). The squirrel went running through the house for cover, with 3 dogs and the boy in hot pursuit. All I could envision was ou rborrowed 48" flat screen tv coming crashing down. Anyways, at one point I screamed at the boy's cousin to grab the cat and get it outside......the dogs were circlin gthe couch, the boy had grabbed a BB gun and I had on a pair of over mitts. there were cries of "DON'T SHOOT!", "Watch my face!", "Where is it?", "the dogs are going to eat it!", "Put that god**** gun AWAY!" and then "Fine, throw me the oven mitts!"
Then, moving quicker than I could ever hope to do, the boy grabbed the squirrel and ran for the patio. "Get that door OPEN!" With the dogs in hot pursuit, the squirrel was ushered to the edge of the deck and launched to safety in the hedge.
Phew. Done.
Until a few minutes later when the boy's cousin looked out on the deck.
"Um, I think your cat caught something."
You have got to be kidding me.
You survived a 10 foot fall, 3 dogs, being shot at...but when it's your time to go, it's your time to go.
R.I.P. Twinkles.
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