...that bartenders don't earn their pay, this is for you.
Customer: "Can I have a double rye with one ice cube."
(I make him the drink.)
Customer: "There's more than one ice cube in here."
Me: "Yeah, there is. See how the ice is in a big pile? Unless you want me to use my fingers you may end up with more than one of them."
Customer: "How long have you worked here?"
Me: "5 or 6 years."
Customer: "I've never seen you in here before."
Me: "Yes, you have. I just served you last week."
Customer: "I thought maybe you were new."
Me: "No - you are new."
Customer: "Yeah, I haven't been coming here that long. Just moved back from Toronto."
Customer: "So, have you gone to school? Like, are you educated?"
Customer: "Good, I like that in a woman."
Then he proceeded to ask me no fewer than 45 questions.
Cstomer: "Are you married? Why not? Do you want to get married? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you think you guys will get married? Where are you from originally? Why did you move up here? Do you like it here? What are you reading? Why aren't you listening to me? What did you take at school? Where did you go to school? Do you have another job? You musn't make very good money at your other job if you have to work here part time."
Then, the kicker....
Customer: "Am I bothering you?"
Me: "If you want the truth, yes, you are."
Customer: "Why don't you like me?"
Me: "I never said I don't like you."
Customer: "I can tell you don't like me. I'm very perceptive."
Sometimes the customer is always right.